I feel like, as humans, we all have a tendency to think that we have it right. We look around at the way other people do things, and we think we could do it better our way. Or we think we could at least give them some advice about it. Or like me, as a teacher - I seem to think that I could raise any child better than their parents do. (I know I don't even know what it's like to be a parent, but when you have kids come to school who tell you that they wish you were their mom... it sometimes makes you think you should be. If you're me.)
I want to adopt everyone. I want to write an advice column. I want to speak my mind everywhere I go and have it be heard. At the same time, I want to be quiet. I want to not be overbearing. I want people to come to me when they need me, and I don't want to get in anyone's way. It's a strange line to walk, and I cross it in either direction many times a day.
We all do life differently. We have to, we don't have a choice. There is no possible way your life can be exactly like someone else's. And that's absolutely beautiful in a way, and terrifying in another. To think that those people we aspire to be - because of their knowledge, or kindness, or adorableness, or perfect eyebrows... we can never be exactly like them. And the closer we get, the less of ourselves we are.
This is not to say there should be no self-improvement. This is not to say we should stop trying. This is not to say you'll never be enough. This is simply to say that you'll never be enough of someone else. You can take ideas and make them your own. I think that's one of the most beautiful things about this life. There are so many different versions of everything. You can pick your version, any type, any kind! You can be you!
It's a beautiful world we live in, despite the hardships. I am me. I choose to look at the bright side, to sleep in too late, to hardly ever do my hair. I choose to teach kids. I choose to love my husband unconditionally. I choose to make cookies, keep my house clean, and read books. I choose to put on make-up, wear black skinny jeans most days, and dream all day of the perfect t-shirt. I choose to be happy. I choose to live in the moment and keep the end in mind.
I'd say, right now? My end is looking pretty good.
p.s. do you love being yourself?
Well put. I know for me I had the same problem when I was teaching preschool. I had an incident where I had to call CPS, and I was pretty shaken. I asked the other teachers how they deal with that aspect of the job, and they said they just had become numb to it. I had to quit that week, because I never want to be numb to something like that. It's pretty amazing what you do day to day.
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