Wednesday, January 8, 2014

a smattering, in a nutshell, or not.

^^ This is what alex and I looked like on New Year's Eve. We went on a splendid date together to the cheesecake factory and did a little shopping in Salt Lake. I LOVE me some Salt Lake City, let me tell you. But actually, I'm not going to tell you much more than that because I feel like this post is going to go in all sorts of directions. And we all love when a p.s. my name is madeline post goes in all sorts of directions, don't we?? Don't we??

My fingers are a little stiff typing this, so sorry for any typos. I've been trying this new thing where I "work out" by going to "the gym" and taking "classes". I'm all over those zumba and yoga things, but it makes my muscles like WHYYYYYYY while also simultaneously saying YESSSSS THIS IS AMAZINGGGG!!! Right? We all know that feeling. And I swear, I'm going to keep going! This ain't no lame-o New Year's Week Long Resolution. This is the REAL DEAL. (You may not quote me on that. That is off the record. Or whatever.)

While we're talking about New Year's and Working Out, why don't we venture into the land of fourth graders? Today there was this kid who seriously wouldn't stop crying about stuff, and I was trying to be all sympathetic and nice but at the same time I was like, wasn't the crying supposed to stop in first grade? And I hate to say it and sound the meanest, but sometimes kids make a big deal out of really small things. It's super hard to be their go-to person all day long when these small things get blown out of proportion. But I mean, if that's my biggest trial in life, I'll take it.

(Speaking of which, one of my friends told me this past weekend that my life was so perfect she wanted to punch me in the face....? But like, sorry... I guess... if my life is bugging you guys.)

Anyway, I was thinking today about how kids do really dumb stuff sometimes. But it helps them learn, you know? You make mistakes, and then you learn from them, and you don't do them again! Like, when I was in elementary school, I was kind of the bottom of the food chain. But I learned to deal. One time, I was giving a report about myself in a shoe box full of rice. It was like a treasure chest and we had to put five things in there that represented us. So I pulled out a miniature Madeline doll that I had, and I said, "I brought this doll because her name is Madeline and that's where I got my name from, and also I really like dolls." And Haley (who is now one of my best friends, but at the time I kind of wanted to give her a huge stink eye) said, "I HATE DOLLS." In front of the whole class!!!! I was mortified. So I decided to never talk about dolls again, problem solved. And then this other time, my friend Jill and I decided that the new mascot of our elementary school should be the Dots. So I pulled my coat all the way up over my head, and we stuck a big playground ball in the hood and we ran around trying to recruit (?) people to be on our side as far as the Dots issue went. What is resulted in was a bunch of boys throwing other balls at my Dot head so that I fell down a lot and got really muddy. So Jill and I decided to abandon that endeavor.

And then there was this one time...

Ok, just kidding, this is getting long.

p.s. what weird things did you do as a kid? can you laugh about them now, or is it a deep rooted shame you've carried around forever? Will you tell it to me so you can get it out in the open and we can all move on? Because you should.


  1. I dug a hole in the corner of the playground during recess all by myself because I don't think I had any friends haha.
    Then there was this kid who was trying to kiss me and play kiss tag in kindergarten, and i ended up hitting him in the head with a brick.

  2. In elementary school, this kid managed to throw up on my lunch box three days in a row. Not even kidding. So on the fourth day, i decided to buy lunch, and he threw up someone else's lunch box that day. I would say problem solved, but I couldn't buy lunch every day & why on earth kid that kid throw up so much!?!?! i have no idea.

    this post is gold.

  3. When I was a kid there was this diet drink called Sego (long E). There was also a very nice boy named Kevin Sego in my third grade class. Being a very musical child, I sang all the pop culture references - commercials included. One day, Kevin walked down the aisle past me, and I sang, "There he goes, he's my Sego boy." It was totally impulsive, and I don't know why it popped out of my mouth, but out it came. That was embarrassing enough, but my teacher heard me and as punishment made me get up in front of the whole class and sing it again. I was completely mortified. That may have been my first solo performance, though, so it couldn't have been that bad!
    Love your blog, Mad.

  4. I think I do more weird stuff NOW than I did as a kid, sadly. haha!


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