Monday, March 3, 2014

growing up. living through it. the good stuff.


just two innocent kids, about to take a leap of faith...
When I first started college, I said to myself, "Madeline, most likely you're going to marry a tall curly headed boy and you'll do it after you graduate college." Sometimes, things just come to me. I know a lot of girls who got married while they were in school. They married young. I married young too, if we're going to get super technical and judgy about the world's standards of marrying young. I don't care when people get married. If you know it's right, get married! Get married right away. Marriage is THE BOMB.

But in my mind, back when I was a little 18 year old dreamer, I knew that I would need a few years to figure my life out before I jumped on board the commitment train with some... guy. I was young. I'm still young, but 18 is a heck of a lot younger than almost 24. (My birthday is in April, and since it's now March, I think I'm allowed to call myself almost 24.) I had no clue who I was. I didn't grow up with a ton of friends. I was a content introvert in high school, which means most of my weekends were spent watching What Not To Wear or reading two novels in my basement in my sweats and feeling ridiculously happy with life. (I also had a sweet babysitting gig every Friday or Saturday, so I was making money to spend on clothes that would keep me off the aforementioned tv show.)

In college, I grew up a lot. I loved it. I had some of the hardest times of my life - you know the ones. Where you are so painfully growing that you can barely get up in the morning. But I also have some of the most joyful memories. The people that came and went from my life each helped push me along from one milestone to the next. Some of those people were keepers, the guys and girls who you want to be with every day because of how powerful they make you feel. And some of them were leavers - the ones where we both needed each other for a time, and then it passes.

I've only been married for about 10 months. I don't plan on giving out marriage advice any time soon. What I can tell you is that you should trust yourself. You should date all the wrong guys so that you can learn to trust yourself. You should trip and fall a few times. You should go on adventures. You should stay up late agonizing about a dumb conversation. You should stick up for yourself. You should never settle for less than you deserve. And you should remember that you're not alone. People come into our lives for reasons. However, it's your choice if they stay or if they leave. Remember to not waste your kisses, cuddles, or hugs. And if someone tries to hold your hand and you don't like it, you can let go.

And then when someone calls you up and you get one of those stomach twisting, heart melting good feelings... don't be afraid to take the leap. You're probably ready.

^^ And I'm authorized to at least give that advice, because I lived it.

I'll talk to you about marriage in about 10 years... yeah? ;)

p.s. how did you find yourself?

3 comments:

  1. "Remember to not waste your kisses, cuddles, or hugs. And if someone tries to hold your hand and you don't like it, you can let go."

    I love that! So true! Wish I had taken that advice! Hahah! Doesnt matter now anyway, but it would've made a difference!

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  2. This might be my biggest regret from dating. THANK YOU for sharing this. I love it. And you are most definitely authorized to give that marriage advice.

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  3. "I had some of the hardest times of my life - you know the ones. Where you are so painfully growing that you can barely get up in the morning. But I also have some of the most joyful memories."

    That's my favorite part. That's real. I love this advice. I think people hold themselves back a LOT because they're too afraid to fail a class or date the wrong person etc. etc. but honestly, doing and living is so much better than avoiding all mistakes. You get it. I like that about you.

    ReplyDelete

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