talent and irresponsibility

It's a beautiful fall day outside.

But I am inside. 

Preparing to watch a supposedly brilliant documentary, and then write a paper.

The paper is due at midnight tonight.

You may be thinking,

Madeline! Why have you not written the paper before now?

And I will launch into a happy monologue about how writing papers is a talent of mine, and sometimes I think I procrastinate them just so I can prove to myself I'm good at it.

I mean, I wrote a 7 page paper in two hours once, and got an A.

(I had no idea what I was talking about... so that makes it extra special.)

And I could tell you about how I wrote 10 papers in four days last year. 

Anyway, it could either be genius, or just a terrible case of no motivation that has propelled me toward this fate again this year. 

And honestly, right now I'm blogging instead of writing... 

I daresay I'm quite irresponsible.

But there is something about today that is making me conflicted. 

A nervousness in my stomach that will only be cured later today...

And a thrill of excitement for what the rest of the weekend will bring.

Because, it's no good to dwell on things you can't control.

Or things you can control.

What's the point of dwelling?

I want to make progress. Move forward. 

Onward! Ever onward!

Now... onward to the documentary... chat with ya lata peeps!

p.s. i am feeling like buying new clothes. but that takes money. sad day.