absolutely!

does this photo seem heinously large? oh well, i'm leaving it. Also, it appears that i may be shushing you or something. I'm supposed to look ponder-ful... if that's a word. Anyway, don't bother noticing those things. Admire my ring! It's from denmark! And those buttons on my shirt! Amazing detail!

My friend Lauren had a really cute video at her wedding detailing their love story. and I mean cute. (we're talking at the zoo, with we bough a zoo music in the background). She was telling the pivotal part where he asks her to stay home from her mission and she says, "Absolutely!"

Now that word keeps ringing through my mind. "Absolutely!" Over and over again. And I long for someone to ask me a question where I can reply, "Absolutely!" with such an assurance.

Is my car too hot right now? "Absolutely!"
Is my cat fat? "Absolutely!"
Is my brother crazy? "Absolutely!"

When I feel really awkward or uncomfortable, I am completely transparent. I drop things, blush, become speechless, stare at my hands, make weird hand gestures... that kind of thing. But the worst thing ever is that, if I think of something awkward when I'm alone, I am always tempted to whisper the sentence, "you don't know me. you don't even know me." Which does not even make sense! Why would that sentence pop into my head? Just my subconscious trying desperately to tell me that I am not made of awkward moments I suppose. I mean, my whole goal in life is to be cool! I have come to the conclusion that this will never happen!

Will I always be an awkward dork? "Absolutely!"

p.s. today my dad said, "why do spiders have to look so ugly? why can't they look like little puppies?" mind. blown.