i just came to say hello

A question I get most often from my friends is, "How do you get over boys?" And sometimes I feel like I'm the worst person in the world to ask. Because frankly, it doesn't take me that long. 

Haha... that sounded heartless.... but look at it this way. I date boys, and so far, it hasn't worked out. This doesn't mean it will NEVER work out, it just means that it hasn't yet. It is so so easy to fall into the trap of, "I date so many boys, and none of them work out! Maybe something is wrong with me???" 

That's wrong. The truth of the matter is, not every single boy you date (or girl, if you are a boy who is reading this...) is going to be THE ONE. In fact, you'd better hope not all of them are, because that would be super duper stressful. 

The reason that we date people is to LEARN something. I can look back at each of my relationships and say this worked, and this definitely did not. And with this knowledge, I approach a new relationship stronger and smarter than before. 

It's hard, really hard, to have a break up with somebody. You're used to them around. They text you, call you, cuddle with you, kiss you, make you feel special... and suddenly they are gone. You don't have the "we" factor anymore. If there is one thing I make sure to stress to my friends who ask me about break-ups, I tell them that they need some time by themselves. Being with your boyfriend (or girlfriend) becomes so normal and comfortable, that you forget how to be alone. How to be by yourself, just you, no one else. 

Another thing that I don't do is wallow. I just don't. I don't want to. I just can't be that person who crawls into bed and cries for days on end over what could have been. I definitely cry, but there is a moment when the tears have just got to stop... time to move on.

 I don't want to be the person who says, "remember that time when we did this and it was so so perfect and I thought maybe we would be together forever??" I want to be the person who says, "I remember that time, things were really good, and I was happy. But I also remember that time that things weren't so great, and I would like to not go through that again." 

I have to look at both sides of the story. If you get stuck remembering the good times, you won't learn what you're supposed to from the relationship.

And lastly, I look forward to the future. Every time I have a break up, I can't help but be weirdly excited for the next boy to come along. Like, "oh! That didn't work out this time, which means...*excited pause* something even better is around the corner!!!!" 

Because it is! Something better is always coming. 

So I jump right back into life, full speed ahead. That's the easiest way for me to get over it, is just living in the present and looking forward to the future instead of dwelling in the past. 

So there you have it (even if you didn't ask for it), my steps to getting over a boy (or girl??).

To recap:

1: Learn to be yourself again.

2: Focus on the whole picture.

3: Look forward to the future.

4: Take the lesson you were meant to learn, and use it!

p.s. i got the white iphone 4 and i kind of really love it.