Tuesday, October 11, 2011

my thoughts on words, and not a whole lot of anything else

I could tell you a lot of things. 
When I started this blog, I was sad.
It was the end of winter (and the spring that never came) of 2010, and it seemed like everything was falling apart.
And I thought, why not start a blog? Lots of people have blogs.
And I've always liked writing.
Writing is interesting. It's just me, my thoughts, all written in a bunch of silly words. All over the paper. Like word vomit, only what you're saying is permanent. Plastered in front of everyone's faces, instead of floating away into the awkward silence that occurs after you've said something ridiculous.
But does it mean anything? 
I honestly don't think so. Words don't mean a lot if they aren't backed up by actions. If you don't prove what you're saying to be true, the words tumble to the ground and get swept up with everything else 
that's unimportant.

At least, that's how it has always seemed to me.
Oh, but please, tell me things. Tell me everything. Use the words that you want to say.
But even more, please show me. Show me that you mean it.
When I started this blog, I didn't think anyone wanted to hear what I was really thinking, but I was also afraid to tell you. I was afraid of putting myself in that vulnerable place where everyone can read your thoughts, right there on the page. I'm still afraid of that. I used to play it off by saying I wanted my blog to be "cryptic" and "mysterious" (which it definitely was) but I was really just hiding myself from you. And while I've gotten better at being less cryptic and mysterious... I am still afraid of you all reading my thoughts on this page.
So, I could tell you a lot of things...
But I won't.

Not yet, anyway.

p.s. i'll admit it. i'm stressed out.
picture via


  1. Madeline. I love this.


    p.s. I don't like that you're stressed. You should call me or something.

  2. i think you deserve a whole lot of good in your life.


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