Wednesday, March 28, 2012

not scared of getting older, but i am good at being young.

I just looked at what my life was like last year on this blog. I guess I didn't write on March 28, but on March 27th, I was feeling introspective. I wrote that I felt like the song "Stop This Train" by John Mayer. Which is quite a good one, if you feel like looking it up. But if you do feel like looking it up, please, just pay attention to the lyrics. 
There's something to growing up. Last year I wanted to stop the train. I wanted to make it pause at the moment I was at, because I was oh, so happy. Happy with everything. 
I'm happy now. Maybe not happy with everything. There are a lot of things I would change if I wasn't so lazy. Man, I am so lazy.
And I'm getting there. Getting to that moment where I will change. I've never been a gradual changer. I'm a stop-right-there-i'm-changing-right-now changer. I make up my mind and there is no going back. 
Anyway, there's something about spring this year, that makes me look around at the people older than me. The people with lives completely different than mine. They're seasoned. I like that word. Seasoned. They've seen many seasons pass. 
They have families, careers, jobs, friends.
They have all these things that they have WORKED for. And I think that's what I admire the most. When I look at those pictures of my principal's grandchildren, I see a lifetime of work. I see the effort he has put into relationships, into jobs, into making a good good sweet life for himself.
And I can't help but love that.
And I can't help but long for that.
Oh, I'm happy where I am now. I'll change the things I'm not happy with.
But I'm not afraid to keep growing and changing and working hard.
Go ahead, train, keep on moving.

p.s. did i mention i get a second spring break because i'm in an elementary school? ha. because i do.

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