Thursday, August 1, 2013

those who can, do. and that includes teachers.

Today I'm going to blog about something I don't blog about that much... but first!

Thanks to all of you for your sweet comments on my last post. I enjoy hearing your feedback, and I look forward to continuing on with my blog, and staying connected with you all. That's one of the best things about blogging, right?

Anyway, today I want to talk about teaching.

I mean, in the sense that I am a teacher. That being a teacher is my occupation and in a couple weeks I will honestly truly be teaching 30 small children how to survive in this grand old world.

And you know, that terrifies me.

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My whole life, I knew I should be a teacher. The thought was always there in the back of my mind. Always my back up plan. But I thought it wouldn't be worth it. I thought it was too hard of work for too little appreciation (which it is). I wanted to embrace my creative side and be an Interior Designer. So I went to college with that goal in mind. It was HARD. It was a very difficult program that I struggled at. Not because I didn't have the talent for it, I had plenty of talent. Mostly because my heart wasn't in it. I would look around at the other girls (and two boys), slaving away at their projects, talking to each other about it, tweaking this, poking that, getting everything into place. I liked it, sure. I loved the way designing made me feel like I was creating something beautiful, and the fact that it was all mine, because no one else could see the ideas inside my head until I drew them out on paper. I loved that. But when it came to the work, I did it half-heartedly. I started to realize it wasn't worth it to me. I didn't feel like I was getting what I needed out of it. There was no sense of completion or fulfillment. It was all surface. (I am in no way putting down all you beautiful designers out there, I know that what you create is very fulfilling, it just was not the same for me.) And even though I passed the review at the end of the semester and I was allowed to continue on with the program, I had a deep realization that what I needed was to fall back to my Plan B... what should have been my Plan A all along. Teaching.

I love kids. I love the potential they hold. Each student is like a gold mine. They are so stocked full of Could Be's and What If's that it's amazing. Besides just teaching them math, reading, and writing, I have the special task of helping them figure out who they are, who they can become, where they want to go and how to get there. It makes me tingle with excitement! They still have dreams at this age, you know. They still believe in themselves for the most part. There comes a time in our lives where cold hard reality hits and we start doubting ourselves. It's my job to show them the pathway that will make it so they never have to start doubting themselves, because they know how to achieve what they want. It's thrilling and scary to have that kind of power, but I feel like that is my goal this year, to rise to that challenge.

I mean think about it, I'm a first year teacher, so I don't have any reason to doubt myself yet, right? As far as I know, I can do this. So I'm going to make it happen. I'm creating my own pathways, so that I can build the foundation for my students.

Wish me luck!

p.s. are any of you teachers out there? what are your thoughts on the subject? and how do you deal with first day of school nerves? and for all you people who have been students, what do you wish your teachers would have done to make your experience better? and what did they do well?

3 comments:

  1. Following you heart is a little scary, especially when it involves big changes, but it totally worth it! Good luck!

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  2. This entry makes me remember that I also really wanted to be a teacher and that maybe I should reconsider my graduate degree program...

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  3. I just read your questions at the end. The only teachers I remember in elementary school are the ones that loved me and showed it. They made me feel like I did a good job and I was important. All those kids want is to please you and feel like you really care about them. I think you will do a great job at that. :)

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