So, I have this fear.
It may seem silly to all you people out there, but to me, it is very incapacitating!
To think what I could accomplish if I could just overcome this fear! My life would be changed! My confidence would be boosted! My haircut would look more expensive!
One time, I was on a date. It was the kind of date that all the boys wish they would think of, and all the girls wish they could go on. The majority of the date was spent learning a form of Tai Kwon Do, taught to us by a hired professional. At the end of the lesson, the teachers (or should I say Sensei's?) brought out a stack of wooden boards and told us that we all had the capacity to break one in half. I was confident that what they said was true. I had a burning desire to go up there and smash a board with my bare hand. Several people walked up, excitement shining in their faces, my date included. He kept telling me to get up there, even trying to raise my arm for me! I wanted to get up so badly... but I was overcome by my fear, and remained rooted to the carpet. And soon all the boards were broken, and I can only say that I chickened out of doing it.
All because of my fear of raising my hand.
It really is terrible. I want to speak up all the time, or volunteer to do something, or add to a lesson... but I get this crushing feeling that I can't move any of my limbs. My arm remains pinned to my body. And then I am full of regret for not doing anything.
Today I raised my hand in class. I gave my input. My face may have turned bright red, and I might have started sweating, and maybe I was very awkward and shaky... but I raised my hand right up!
One small step for Madeline... one giant leap for uhhh... nevermind, I can't make up my own quote.
p.s. i'm ready for the weekend.
It may seem silly to all you people out there, but to me, it is very incapacitating!
To think what I could accomplish if I could just overcome this fear! My life would be changed! My confidence would be boosted! My haircut would look more expensive!
One time, I was on a date. It was the kind of date that all the boys wish they would think of, and all the girls wish they could go on. The majority of the date was spent learning a form of Tai Kwon Do, taught to us by a hired professional. At the end of the lesson, the teachers (or should I say Sensei's?) brought out a stack of wooden boards and told us that we all had the capacity to break one in half. I was confident that what they said was true. I had a burning desire to go up there and smash a board with my bare hand. Several people walked up, excitement shining in their faces, my date included. He kept telling me to get up there, even trying to raise my arm for me! I wanted to get up so badly... but I was overcome by my fear, and remained rooted to the carpet. And soon all the boards were broken, and I can only say that I chickened out of doing it.
All because of my fear of raising my hand.
It really is terrible. I want to speak up all the time, or volunteer to do something, or add to a lesson... but I get this crushing feeling that I can't move any of my limbs. My arm remains pinned to my body. And then I am full of regret for not doing anything.
Today I raised my hand in class. I gave my input. My face may have turned bright red, and I might have started sweating, and maybe I was very awkward and shaky... but I raised my hand right up!
One small step for Madeline... one giant leap for uhhh... nevermind, I can't make up my own quote.
p.s. i'm ready for the weekend.
This same thing happens to me. Even if the teacher doesn't end up calling on me so I don't have to say anything, my heart starts beating and my face gets all hot. It's bad.
ReplyDeleteKind of like Cassie. I assume you know who I'm talking about.
My comments on your blog are getting too long. Okay. Bye.
And I meant that my heart starts beating FAST. Not just that it starts beating. My hearts always beating. For the most part.
ReplyDeleteExactly! I always relate so much to Cassie at that part. And I'm glad your heart is always beating. So glad.
ReplyDeleteHa I <3 you guys. (Did I do that right? I don't know.)
ReplyDeletemodern thought will get the best of you? that's a shins song. or at least a line from it. since when did you listen to them?
ReplyDeleteare you for real, Abigail? The Shins song in question is one that I showed to you. Don't even.
ReplyDelete