We're sitting on the couch as usual, me with a pillow on my lap, looking up at you underneath my dark bangs which have gotten far too long. Curly hair, and a small smile, lots of laughter. My roommates always have to text me to tell us to be quiet. It's hard to remember it's late at night, when it feels like we could talk for hours. And we do. Quite often. A pause in the conversation, I'm watching my hand on the pillow, rubbing the fabric together like I've done since I was a baby. You ask me, "Is this ok?" and you put your hand on the pillow, next to mine. I don't understand, so I ask what you mean. And you grab my hand. Right there, on the pillow, you take it in yours. The butterflies are instant, and overwhelming, so I sit still, pondering our hands together. You tell me I didn't answer your question, and I play coy, asking you, "what question?". You roll your eyes and sigh like you always do, raise our hands up in the air and demand, "is THIS ok?"And I smile, because yes, it is very ok.
It has been a long day. All of us sit around the campfire, conversation erupts from each person in the version of stories, mostly funny, even if they are supposed to be scary. I'm pretty chilly, curled up in my camp chair next to yours, trying to keep myself warm. The fire is mesmerizing, but so are the stars. I've always had a thing for stars, and they're the best when you see them from the mountains. In the middle of someone's story, I look at you. With determination in your eyes, your hand suddenly ends up on my arm rest, fingers slightly curled as if beckoning me. I hesitate for a moment, unsure of what you want me to do exactly, and wondering if maybe I should pretend I didn't see this brave action. But then I tell myself not to worry, and I place my hand in yours. Our freezing cold hands in the open air for all the world to see. And I feel that excited, pit of your stomach, something new is happening feeling all over again.
We're walking down a slightly muddy path, and I'm thinking I probably shouldn't be wearing these shoes. But I'm happy to be walking next to you. Because frankly, I didn't think this was going to happen after the debacle of awkwardness a couple days ago. But we're chatting and gliding down the trail like the word awkward doesn't exist. Each sign we come to, we switch off reading, and we have to use a different accent. I think it's funny, so all of my accents sound the same, because I can't take it seriously. You're accents are magnificent and dramatic. Each story comes to life. Sometimes you put your arms around me from behind while I'm reading. But once, as I was contemplating jumping over a particularly muddy area, you grabbed my hand and helped me over. And then you left your hand in mine for a while, and I realized I didn't want you to let go.
I didn't think this would ever happen, to tell you the truth. Me, sitting on the couch next to you and feeling happy to be there. I couldn't believe it, that you would make me laugh so much, or that I would find you interesting enough to want this. And we're sitting there, with all your friends, about to watch a movie. It's that time where you aren't sure how close you should sit by each other, or where your limbs should go, or if you should even make eye contact. But you're pinching the back of my arm, teasing me with a "Kuki-do" move that we learned that night. And I'm twisting and turning, trying to get away, when suddenly, I'm closer than ever before, and your hand fits quite nicely into mine. It's surprising, but... very ok.
p.s. funny, how things happen.
It has been a long day. All of us sit around the campfire, conversation erupts from each person in the version of stories, mostly funny, even if they are supposed to be scary. I'm pretty chilly, curled up in my camp chair next to yours, trying to keep myself warm. The fire is mesmerizing, but so are the stars. I've always had a thing for stars, and they're the best when you see them from the mountains. In the middle of someone's story, I look at you. With determination in your eyes, your hand suddenly ends up on my arm rest, fingers slightly curled as if beckoning me. I hesitate for a moment, unsure of what you want me to do exactly, and wondering if maybe I should pretend I didn't see this brave action. But then I tell myself not to worry, and I place my hand in yours. Our freezing cold hands in the open air for all the world to see. And I feel that excited, pit of your stomach, something new is happening feeling all over again.
We're walking down a slightly muddy path, and I'm thinking I probably shouldn't be wearing these shoes. But I'm happy to be walking next to you. Because frankly, I didn't think this was going to happen after the debacle of awkwardness a couple days ago. But we're chatting and gliding down the trail like the word awkward doesn't exist. Each sign we come to, we switch off reading, and we have to use a different accent. I think it's funny, so all of my accents sound the same, because I can't take it seriously. You're accents are magnificent and dramatic. Each story comes to life. Sometimes you put your arms around me from behind while I'm reading. But once, as I was contemplating jumping over a particularly muddy area, you grabbed my hand and helped me over. And then you left your hand in mine for a while, and I realized I didn't want you to let go.
I didn't think this would ever happen, to tell you the truth. Me, sitting on the couch next to you and feeling happy to be there. I couldn't believe it, that you would make me laugh so much, or that I would find you interesting enough to want this. And we're sitting there, with all your friends, about to watch a movie. It's that time where you aren't sure how close you should sit by each other, or where your limbs should go, or if you should even make eye contact. But you're pinching the back of my arm, teasing me with a "Kuki-do" move that we learned that night. And I'm twisting and turning, trying to get away, when suddenly, I'm closer than ever before, and your hand fits quite nicely into mine. It's surprising, but... very ok.
p.s. funny, how things happen.
hahaha i like it
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