Thursday, April 12, 2012

mixed signals

Hello all! So, I was getting ready to go on a date last night (an hour before I had to) (because I was bored to death) (I miss living with best friends) (why not try on every color of lipstick I own?) and it just got me pondering. On that thing we call dating. Now, I know I don't talk about dating a lot on this blog, and when I do, it's funny first kiss stories or subtle iwasfeelingbitteratthemoment posts. Whatever. It's the title of this post. It's the fact that I feel like all of us 20-something singles out here are getting so many mixed signals from everyone around us about HOW we should date. I haven't seriously dated anybody in a while... I've had a few flings here and there this year. Which caused a huge part of me - HUGE I tell you - to rethink my whole approach to dating. Earlier this year I realized that I am the girl, that one girl, the girl the boys think they can just call up whenever. Not in THAT way, people. I mean, the way that they don't have to ask me out on official dates. They can just hang out with me all casual like and make me like them without any real effort. They were right, of course. I'm far too easy going. Because you hear all those stories of girls freaking out over this or that and boys hating them, and I think somewhere along the line I decided, you know what? I'm just going to not be that girl. I'm going to be the easy going you-don't-have-to-worry-about-me-because-i'm-not-worried-about-you kind of girl. And then I realized that has to stop. So it did. I'm still easy going, but I'm not settling for no effort. I need a DATE, guys. I'm WORTH a date, guys. Or two.

And then there's the whole, you know, marriage thing. My friends are getting married. It took long enough, but it's happening. But they all tell that story. The one where they, "weren't even looking to get married, and there he was! He just showed up, and everything fell into place!" What do you MEAN you weren't even LOOKING? How did you see him then? How did he get there? He just randomly appeared and you loved each other? It's THAT easy? I tried to "stop looking" once (not that I'm ever looking really, more, perusing) and I got a whole lot of NOTHING because the boys were like, why is she looking over there at that fallen tree?

So I can only assume that married people forgot how dating really works. And that's why no one knows the secret to making it happily ever after.

p.s. thoughts on the matter? i'd like to hear them. nay, i'd love to hear them. ooh... just dropped the "L" word on ya.


  1. Oh my goodness I love reading your blog....I wish I could just be straight up with my thoughts, they just don't flow as nicely as yours do. So my thoughts on your thought......I have decided marriage comes differently for everyone. For me it was when I was focused on school, friends, and having a good time meeting new people (you still notice guys but aren't all about them all the time) and for some it comes after months and years of dating. Sometimes it comes from the guy you hoped it would be and other times it is from the guy you least expect or didn't notice at first. My only advice is don't worry about numbers, just be yourself....introduce your self to someone new each day, smile at people, and it will in it's own due time fall in to place. Don't force the issue......

    Much love and keep up the writing!

  2. Ohhh Madeline, you are such an adorable girl! I read your post and it made me think of this one I read a while ago....Hope you like it as much as I did..

  3. Nope. I was looking. You can say you're not looking, but single people are always looking. So keep looking (perusing). But have fun doing it. Because even though married life is great, so is single life. So enjoy it, my dearest Madeline.

    p.s. this blog post was very good.

  4. I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your adorable blog! You are so cute and relatable. Plus, I love your name! Our little girl's middle name is Madeline...too cute. xo

  5. i have definitely been the girl that guys will just call up to hang out with because i was usually free and i like people. i also think that married people forgot how to date. they make it seem so easy and like you will KNOW on the first date that he is THE ONE. ridiculous.

  6. Ok this made me laugh so hard! I have always hated when people say the "stop looking and you'll find love" thing. So lame. I still want you to date my cousin. He rocks. :)


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