three, two, one, ACTION

I was watching Little Women with my sisters one day, many years ago. At the end, there's this pivotal moment when Jo reveals to the German Professor that she is not married, and she actually really likes him. They kiss in the rain under an umbrella, and live happily ever after. My little sister starts singing, "What is love, but a kiss on a rainy day? A smile that won't go away? A safe place to run..."

I was unsurprised that she started singing. We sing a lot. I said, "Abi! That's a good song! Did you just make that up?"

She tilted her head, "No, it's on one of my CD's."

My mom is sitting at the kitchen table, scrapbooking supplies spread all around. I walk over, and sit down on the chair, tucking my knees under my chin. We laugh at pictures from last year, and reminisce about how much things have changed. My little brother shuffles past us decked out in all of his snow gear, eyes peeking through a face mask. He slams the door behind him, and dives into the snow face first. My mom holds up a picture from last Thanksgiving at the cabin. There's a one person difference this year. "He was pretty fun, you know."

"Yeah, I miss him!" Olivia volunteers from the chair next to me.

I agree that he was fun, entertaining, very cute. Then I press my lips together and look outside.

My mom asks where my brother is.

I tell her I can't see him at the moment.

"Well go look! There could be an avalanche!"

"Mom, we're not on a mountain, where would the avalanche come from?"

"They can come out of nowhere!!"

My brother ran up the steps and smashed his face into the window dramatically.

I'm laying on the carpet staring at the ceiling. Thinking. There's a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, something I've felt before, but I can't quite put my finger on it. He comes back up the stairs and considers me a moment, "What are you doing?"

"I'm laying on the floor."

He sets down the spatula and lays down next to me. Brushes my hair with his finger. I turn and look him in the eyes. "What's up?"

He says, "I think I have a hard time connecting with people. I'm not good at letting others in."

I nod. I have that problem too.

"How do you fix that? Do you know?"

"My dad told me that I put a wall up. When people start getting close to me, I put up the wall. No access. So I decided that I would start working on trusting people more. I think it comes down to trust. Not being afraid to be vulnerable."

"Yeah, but how do you start doing that? Trusting people?"

I start to answer, but there's a knock on the door.

It's the internet guy.

If love in movies is just made up, then where did all the ideas for the movies come from?

p.s. i wonder what it's like to get in a fight.