right now

don't be afraid to throw caution to the wind.

never pass up a chance to be magnificent.

tell people how you feel, and don't apologize.

try to hardly ever think about yourself.

you're 10x more beautiful if you throw a smile on.

love with everything you have.

lose yourself in beautiful things.

read good books, and let them change you.

work hard, and don't settle for less.

sleep when you're tired, eat when you're hungry, and laugh. as much as you want.

tonight, we are young

It feels absolutely wonderful to be home again, with family, sleeping in my HUGE queen-sized bed. Oh, how I've missed this place. As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted with a winter wonderland.

A tribute to my childhood, to simple days of love and magic. 

To days of cuddling with my dolls and gazing out the window, trying desperately to see a sleigh pulled by reindeer flying through the sky, but always falling asleep before it appeared.

Days of dancing in front of the screen in the theater after Aladdin, making my dad stay with me until the music finally stopped.

And maybe that's why, after watching a movie with my lil sis tonight, I convinced her to stay for the credits, when everyone else had left, and dance with me in front of the screen.

I refuse to be too old for things.

I refuse to forget how to feel excited.

I refuse to give up the little stuff.

Tonight, and for the rest of my life, I am young.

I will believe in Santa.

I will stay awake staring out that window.

And I will dance.

p.s. i'm posting this on sunday because i wanted to say it. and also because this next week is devoted to my thoughts, feelings, and memories about christmas. be prepared. i am one of the crazy christmas people.

you. are. loved.

via

"See you guys later!" I called as I got out of the car.

I walked across the grass to my house, feeling oh, so tired.

Climbing up the stairs, I crossed my fingers that the door would be open.

And as I pressed down on the cold metal handle, I thought to myself that I felt sad.

I felt sad and I was ok with it, which is a rare thing in itself.

Usually I'll do anything to push that feeling away.

But I pressed the handle down, and for a moment, I let myself feel everything. Every little thing.

Things fall apart.

I read a book called that my senior year of high school.

I remember loving the book.

I don't remember the details of what it was about.

Anyway, it's true, isn't it? Things definitely do fall apart.

It happens suddenly sometimes.

Gradually, other times.

And usually I bounce back fairly quickly.

But I don't know what will happen this time.

Honestly, you guys, I cannot remember a time in my life that has been like this.

Where EVERYTHING is falling apart.

Nothing is going according to plan.

And I'm trying to keep a positive outlook, and I'm not doing a bad job.

I can see that things will work out in the future.

But right now...

Those thoughts.

Those creeping achy thoughts.

Why doesn't dating ever work out for me?

Why didn't my boss think I was good enough?

Why am I lacking so much motivation?

Why don't I like school right now?

What is going on??

And my tired heart, begs me to go to sleep and wake up in 15 years when everything is perfect (don't worry, I know it won't be).

To run away to another country.

To step right out of this life and into a new one.

But my pounding head says,

You can do it.

If you don't stick this through, you'll never see all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing things that lie ahead.

Don't give up.

p.s. sorry i've been a boring blogger lately... obviously a lot has been going on. but i have returned :)

fire and rain

as i ambled down the sidewalk,

a mix of soft and crunchy leaves under my feet,

and a few drifting from the sky,

i had an inkling.

just like the sunlight slipping through the empty spaces,

that no matter what,

no matter how tumbling my thoughts,

or twisting my heart,

that life,

life is oh, so good.

and it made me smile,

just to realize that

I am here.

p.s. i could use more James Taylor in my life.

luckily in life, we have choices

picture via

I worried about that post yesterday.

I wrote it in a moment of catharsis that I sorely needed.

But things you say in moments of anger are usually things you regret.

And as I reread those lines over and over again, and asked myself if I would regret them,

the answer was no.

Certainly not.

They were things that definitely needed to be said.

If only just so that I could see them right in front of me.

Instead of having them swirling and twirling inside my head, unravelling my good thoughts and replacing them with all the would have, should have, and could haves.

So please, forgive me if it seemed harsh.

Forgive me if it seemed dramatic.

Forgive me if it seemed unwarranted.

Forgive me if it seemed pathetic.

It is what it is.

Did any of you see my friend Jenna's comment?

That was really sweet of her.

She's right you know. There is definitely a pattern.

And the scared, discouraged part of me wants to curl up in a ball and say, "I'll never find that. No one will ever treat me that way. No one will ever think I'm worth being treated that way."

And then the larger, hopelessly optimistic, faithful part of me says defiantly, "Someone will treat you that way. Someone will fall on his hands and knees to treat you that way. Someone will look at you for the first time, and know that you're worth being treated that way.

Because you are."

Well, I can choose which part to believe.

And that is something to be thankful for.

p.s. rootbeer freezes from A&W are possibly the best new treat this side of the chocolate covered strawberry.

be ok today

"I'm so excited to hear about your night tomorrow!"I told Haley.

"I'm excited to hear about yours!" She responded.

"Oh, I'm nervous." I said, heading toward the door.

"Don't be," she answered sympathetically.

"It's ok," I said, "I'm resigned to my fate. Whatever happens happens. It will be ok."

It will be ok.

No matter how anxious or stressed out I get,

everything will turn out fine.

Isn't that something we could all pay attention to in our lives? The fact that everything will be fine.

But no. We get so wrapped up in the present. In the hurt, in the grief, in the excitement and stress of the day. The way we woke up wrong in the morning and everything was downhill from there...

But tomorrow IS another day. 

And you can choose the way you live it.

True, other people will be there, influencing you.

But you decide how you act, how you react, or how you don't act.

No one else can change that.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the line from 500 Days of Summer.

You know the one,

where Tom begs Summer for a little bit of consistency.

For the knowledge that she loves him, needs him, wants him around - the same way he loves, needs, and wants her.

And she says, "I can't give you that, Tom. No one can."

Is that true?

No one can.

No one can?

It will be ok.

For now, here's a movie of me and my friend Lauren. Doing what we do best. (whatever that is.)

p.s. what should i do this weekend?

gotta keep your head up

Well, I don't know quite what to say...

Because honestly, I shouldn't be saying anything. 

I have a delightful presentation to be working on and it's due in a few hours.

no worries.

(and by delightful i mean i hate it.)

Anyway, 

the weather is nice today,

and i got a new jacket.

so things are definitely looking good so far.

if i could just go to sleep,

and wake up tomorrow having completed my project and got off work for the weekend...

pretty sure my life would be perfect.

k, talk to ya later.

and... i read this right after i wrote this post. wonderful. quote via

p.s. last chance to vote!! (and still a little offended that being sick of my blog is in second place... you guys are joking, right?)

i can't help falling in...

yesterday, i woke up, meandered to the bathroom, washed my face, put on make-up, was in the process of doing my hair... when suddenly i heard my roommates leaving the house.

"what time is it?" i wondered.

almost 9:00 a.m. my phone answered.

"Oh," i thought, "my class starts at 9. not 9:30 as i had thought when i woke this morning."

this is the second time this has happened.

yesterday, standing in the student center with my friends, i became bored.

it's hard when they speak spanish to each other.

or about spanish things.

how am i supposed to understand? and besides, i was hungry.

so i turned on my heel and started walking away, figuring they would follow.

they did.

braden said, "don't be grumpy."

i said, "i'm sorry, i'm grumpy when i'm hungry."

...and when i don't understand conversations, apparently.

yesterday, i was in walmart. 

we found some black jeans.

my friend needed to try them on.

there was no dressing room attendant and the doors were locked.

so he hid behind a wall, while i stood guard, and he changed.

then the attendant returned.

"I'm sorry," she said, "i had to go over to the returns area."

"that's just fine," i said, "no need to worry. it was funny."

"it wasn't funny!" tanner exclaimed from his new dressing room.

yesterday was a good day.

i wanted to go to this.

p.s. i should get out of bed now...

I had time to put a braid in my hair...

here's the thing. i didn't do anything yesterday. nothing.
except help pick out a most fabulous swimsuit for a most fabulous competition for a most fabulous friend.
i went to work. for four hours.
i found out i got accepted to the elementary education level three program.
which i suppose is kind of a big deal.

and it's just,
i'm happy.

totally, and completely happy.
but there's a little nagging at my heart,
holding me back, and at the same time pushing me forward.
making me change my mind, over and over.
i feel bad about that, i really do.
but it tells me something can be better.
good, better, best.
good, better, best.
good, better, best.
i'm sorry.
i'm happy.
i'm scared.
i'm excited.
i'm ready.
i'm stuck.
i'm mean.
i'm wonderful.
i'm tired.

and i don't know what to do about any of this.
except just keep living, and loving.
and believing
that no matter what
i'll find the best.
good, better, BEST.

a love like yours, surely comes my way

i guess i'll tell you, because that's what cool bloggers do...
blazer: Nordstrom's Brass Plum, tank top: TJ Maxx, jeans: J. Crew, shoes: Urban Outfitters, purse: Miss Avenue, bangles: The Purple Moon Boutique, rings: gifts
picture by Abi

Why is it, that things never work out the way you plan? Whether it's bad or not, everything changes all the time. You may think something is going to happen, judging by what has happened in the past, when really, everything goes in a completely different direction.

And there is something really beautiful about that. The fact that we aren't in control.

And the biggest thing, is figuring out why something happened. Why didn't it work out? Why did it go that way, and not the other? What was I supposed to gain from that?

I'll let you in on a secret... I don't always know.

And still, I do, I must, I have to believe that events, people, places, relationships, happiness, sadness, EVERYTHING. happens for a reason.

And this is a thrill, this belief.

So I'll turn, face in the wind, feet ready to move, smiling toward the future.

It's my choice.

p.s. this week went by fast. yay!

making the right choice.

Pretty much my motto in life. No matter how bad it seems at the time, everything will be ok.

It's true, you know.

Life may be crashing down around you, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. All you have to do is spot it, and start walking that direction.

And trust yourself.

Above all, trust yourself.

We can make it, guys.

Easy?

No.

Worth it?

Yes.

p.s. have you heard mat kearney's new cd? check it out!!

a monday pinterest post

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a FANTASTIC weekend, because I know I sure did! Remember that time I told you that USU would kill Weber state? If not, look at the post below this. I surely said it. AND I was surely right! My love for Utah State - despite the bad reputation of our football team -  is going to be vindicated, I can just feel it. Look out everyone, here we come!

friends at the game. too cool for school... actually, not true. we love school.

Oh, all right, enough about football... you want to know what fantastic food we rangers of the Pinterest Group made this last Saturday? Well, prepare to be amazed. 

You may recall this post. Where I admitted that yes, I do happen to be obsessed with panini's. Well... you got it! I convinced the rangers that this was something they should also be obsessed with. All right... it didn't take much convincing. The panini's speak for themselves. Want to take a look?

picture via

This isn't the picture of what we made, it was just a picture of a panini that I found. We kind of made our own panini recipe this time... but here's what they look like! 

Sorry about the picture... we made them after the game, so it was dark, and the lighting wasn't the best... but they turned out absolutely delicious!

What you need:

Sourdough bread

Pesto

Turkey

Avocado

Pepperjack cheese

Optional tomatoes on the side (not optional for me! I <3 tomatoes.)

p.s. maybe yesterday i got talked into getting twitter? i did not see that one coming. follow me! @shor_t_rose. (that's what you do, right? the @ symbol? Ha. I'll get there.) yeah, that's my gangsta name, jealous?

i am a shade of bright pink

via 

Disclaimer: This is not a picture of me. If you couldn't tell. 

Right now I am sitting on my bed, wearing pink lipstick in my pajamas. That's why that picture is there, because, I tried to take pictures of myself in the lipstick, but they were weird. So I found a picture I thought could accurately represent me. We have the same haircut kinda, and the lipstick, and look! She's even wearing a blue and white striped shirt.

The point is: I bought bright pink lipstick. I have it in my possession. It's sitting on my bathroom counter. And the truth is, I really like it. 

But the other truth is... I'm afraid of it. 

I want to be one of those girls who wears whatever they want, and doesn't care. But I've always been one of those people who doesn't like being the center of attention. And this lipstick definitely calls attention to me. So what to do? 

I think the problem is, I'm afraid to really be me. When actually, that's all I want. To be me. Because believe it or not... I like me.

I like me.

And I like pink lipstick.

So I should wear it, right? What do I have to lose?

p.s. i have SO MUCH stuff to pack. it's crazy. absolutely nuts.

oh, but i want to

You know what is so great?

The fact that I have NO IDEA what tomorrow will bring.

Or next week.

Or next month.

Or next year.

Every time I think about it, this crazy feeling fills up the inside of me and makes me want to smile until my face falls off. 

Something good is just around the corner. I can FEEL it.

I'm resisting the urge to peek.

.... luckily that's not possible, so it's really easy to resist.

i feel like a wall of postcards will be in my future.

p.s. what if dreams told the future?

the words that don't come out

dancing in the rain

I'm sorry. Do I keep talking about this? the whole dancing in the rain during a lightning storm thing? It's just that, it was one of those great moments in life. 

There we were, sitting next to each other on the roof of the car. Watching the sky light up, over and over again. Listening to a playlist made only five minutes ago, for this occasion especially. 

And a feeling came over me, that if this was truly happening right now, I should do something about it. But what? 

So I said, "It would be awesome if it started pouring rain right now." 

Lauren looked at me quickly, wide eyed, and gasped, "Did you feel that?"

And the next thing I knew, we were jumping off the car, and dancing. Spinning around and around as the rain drops hit everything in sight, making the warm pavement smell like summer. 

Just one of those moments when you realize, 

life is absolutely, breathtakingly perfect.

Even during the times where it may seem that things are going wrong, or are falling apart, or you'll never be happy again... life is still perfect. 

It's exactly the way that it is meant to be. 

Beautiful, and terrifying.

It's a lightning storm.

p.s. what do you want to become?

just me before we met

I'm back.
And this time, I mean for real.
It's over, folks. The most wonderful summer in the world is coming to a close.
EFY has come to an end, and it is a melancholy time in my life.
Half of me is overjoyed, ecstatic, leaping to be back to my own world.
The other half is curling up slowly with sadness, because such a good thing has ended.
But really, I think the excited part will win out.
There is so much in my life to be excited for.
Did I tell you I'm going to Disneyland in a week?
Did I tell you I'm moving back to Logan in three?
Did I tell you anything?
I think not.
I haven't been around for a few months.
I'll tell you everything now.
I'm back.

p.s. stay tuned for lightning storms and country dancing.

every one of us

photo by Abi. it's a picture of me.

So many songs are always playing in my head...
          Maybe that's what being an EFY counselor does to you?
                        It certainly makes me dance whenever I hear music.
                                     And consider everything as a serious teaching moment.

What can I do?

Sometimes EFY is really hard for me.

I look around and see all of these amazing people that I work with, and I can't help but think "Why can't I be as good as them?"

They are so much better.

And on goes the battle in my soul.

One side telling me I can't measure up to some people. Just not as talented. Not as nice. Not as smart. Not as beautiful. Not as spiritual. Not as helpful. Not as funny.

And the other side yelling, kicking, screaming at me.

Telling me I have all the potential in the world.

If I would just put in the effort. 

But where, oh where, do I start?

p.s. i wore a long skirt today. and i loved it.

he knows me better

just a funny picture.. i feel like i should have bought these glasses. yeah? do you agree?

I've been thinking a lot lately.

(surprise suprise...?)

About how things always seem to happen when they are supposed to.

For a reason.

Kind of related to my last post, I suppose.

It's just so fantastically interesting to me that I am here, right now, doing whatever I'm doing.

And because of the choices I make today, 

different things will happen in the future.

I get really excited for the future.

Not sure if that's normal... I've always been a person to embrace change.

But most of all,

I love looking back on the past year, and seeing how my little choices made my life the way it is right now.

Deciding to go on a trip to Nauvoo, Illinois seems to have started it all.

Gave me amazing friends, who I couldn't live without.

Who brought other new friends into my life.

All of whom kept me entertained all school year.

And when I decided to be brave.

And when I wasn't afraid to say no to people. (boys...)

And when I learned that sometimes first impressions are wrong.

And the moments that I had small thoughts, which led me in a different direction when acted upon.

Listen to your heart, people.

I'm telling you, good things happen when you trust yourself.

And life can be the most interesting adventure of all.

Don't be afraid to take a chance.

That's all for now, folks.

Love you all.

p.s. and to jenna colvin, i love you most.

that's why i smile

Sometimes, life gets turned upside down.

Plans get changed, ruined, rearranged, made, broken...

Things don't always turn out the way you pictured.

The timing isn't right, the place isn't right, the people aren't right.

Something gets in the way of your goals, wishes, hopes, desires.

And it hurts, a lot.

It seems like nothing is going right, and you're tired, and hopeless, and unhappy.

You know what I'm talking about, we've all had those days.

But I can tell you, this too shall pass.

Everything happens for a reason.

And just because things didn't turn out the way you planned,

doesn't mean they won't turn out better than you planned.

There's always something good, just around the corner.

So be patient.

Cross your fingers, and wait.

With a smile, of course.

You know, it's a proven fact that every time you smile you get happier.

my bff Haley and I. We have matching glasses. Jealous? You should be.

p.s. sometimes... text messages melt my heart a little bit.

people start listening

Today my best friend since I was 13 gets married. I can hardly believe we're old enough to do such things. 

And yeah, I'm a bridesmaid.

Don't worry... I'll post pictures after the event.

For now... here's us in our glory days. (a.k.a. Freshman year of college.)

back when kissy faces were still in style.. and 80's dances were all the rage.

p.s. it's very nice when someone sends you a postcard unexpectedly.