the words that don't come out

dancing in the rain

I'm sorry. Do I keep talking about this? the whole dancing in the rain during a lightning storm thing? It's just that, it was one of those great moments in life. 

There we were, sitting next to each other on the roof of the car. Watching the sky light up, over and over again. Listening to a playlist made only five minutes ago, for this occasion especially. 

And a feeling came over me, that if this was truly happening right now, I should do something about it. But what? 

So I said, "It would be awesome if it started pouring rain right now." 

Lauren looked at me quickly, wide eyed, and gasped, "Did you feel that?"

And the next thing I knew, we were jumping off the car, and dancing. Spinning around and around as the rain drops hit everything in sight, making the warm pavement smell like summer. 

Just one of those moments when you realize, 

life is absolutely, breathtakingly perfect.

Even during the times where it may seem that things are going wrong, or are falling apart, or you'll never be happy again... life is still perfect. 

It's exactly the way that it is meant to be. 

Beautiful, and terrifying.

It's a lightning storm.

p.s. what do you want to become?

Songs That Make Me Smile #9

I just really love this song. I woke up to my roommate playing it over and over in the next room. And I didn't care. The words are so beautiful, and I think it's just as applicable in my life to friends as it is to lovers (ha ha), so I hereby dedicate this month's Song That Makes Me Smile to all of you. Thanks for reading.

p.s. happy april fool's day.

ONE HUNDRED

You voted, I deliver. In the end, "funny date stories" won the 100th post poll, and I have to say I'm not exactly thrilled. I mean, how boring. You can totally ask me about that in person, and I will be the first to tell you, I don't have many funny date stories. All of my dates have been with real gentlemen who treat me right and are kind and funny. But we all know that even the boys with the best intentions have little mishaps now and then, so I'm going to spill some stories. However, just to make this interesting, one of the stories is going to be a fake. You'll just have to decide which one! Are you excited?! So excited!? Can you even wait to hear what the stories are?!?! Are you falling off your chair rocking back and forth biting your fingernails and practically crying because you want to hear my funny date stories?!?! Ohmygosh! Me too!!! Let's get this party started.

Story #1: I was dating this boy who had it all. Just graduated from BYU, amazing job, new car, purchasing a house, and besides all that he was just an all around great guy. I never knew him to say a bad thing about anyone, he was ridiculously positive all the time. I was ok with this, because I'm a pretty positive person myself, so we had a good time together finding the best out of everything. One day during the summer, he asked me if I wanted to go shopping with him, because he needed some new shirts for work. I said yes, of course, because I like shopping, and I like the boy. Win win situation. So anyway, he gets to my house and walks me to his car. I'm just balancing on the curb next to the storm drain as he opens the door for me. He reaches down to the passenger seat and picks up his drivers license, credit card, and keys which just happened to be laying there. He's talking to me, and when he moves his arm to motion me in, his drivers license slips out of his hand and falls down down down into the storm drain. We stopped talking and both just stared down into the - mercifully dry - drain. He looked up at me with such a concerned face, I had a hard time not laughing. We spent the next 45 minutes using a stick and some tape getting it out. I thought it was a good test of patience on our parts.

Story #2: I happened to be dating this boy who I thought was a total cutie. It was a long distance relationship, so I really relied on our weekends together. We liked to plan little dates for each other, and each of us tried to outdo the other in creativity. Well, one weekend he told me he had something really great planned that was something neither of us had ever done, and I needed to dress nicely for it. I was really excited! I borrowed some of my stylish Aunt's dress clothes, because I didn't have anything fancy. Then he came and picked me up. We went to Five Guys for dinner, and that is always good, but not when you're in heels and a silk shirt... but I digress. Anyway, we ended up going to the opera. It was Macbeth. My boyfriend hated it. HATED it. He suggested we walk out during the middle of the performance, which I told him definitely not, because that would be so totally rude. Then he got mad at me when I jokingly threw a gum wrapper into the audience.

Story #3: I was set up on a blind date, not uncommon, people love setting me up. I had heard a lot about the kid, and I was pretty excited to meet him because he sounded really cool. I spent a lot of time picking out my outfit and feeling frustrated with my hair. When he finally came to pick me up, I was pretty impressed! He was really cool and collected. We got in the car and drove to dinner. Everything was going really well... until he called me by the wrong name. He kept calling me Natalie! Now here's the thing. I think I have a problem pronouncing my name, because everyone always thinks I say Natalie. But I didn't remember ever having to tell this kid my name. I felt way too embarrassed and awkward to correct him, so I kept letting him call me that! It was really distracting, and I couldn't concentrate on anything he said. I think he started thinking something was wrong with me, because he got me home by 9:30 and gave me a handshake.

So there you have it! My funny date stories. Which one is the wrong one? Leave a comment telling me what you think, and in my next P.S. I'll tell you the answer. Happy ONE HUNDRED!

p.s. Dentist in the morning. Yuck.

Wanna Hear a Story?

Yesterday I was at work. I'm not going to tell you where I work, but if you like really awesome and freaky fast sandwiches, contact me. My boss asked me if I could make my way back to the freezer and grab some more cheese to be sliced. I bopped on over to the freezer, opened the door, and stepped in. The cheese was on the top shelf in a box, so I had to kind of reach, but finally I pulled it out of the box. Just as I retrieved the cheese, I heard a SLAM! The freezer door had shut on me. My stomach dropped and I had a moment of panic. In one second I remembered all of the movies and TV shows I had seen where people got stuck in freezers. (There aren't that many, but I mean, it's always been a concern of mine.) I turned around ready to bang on the door with all of my might for someone to free me, when what appeared right in front of my face? A sign that read, "Don't worry, you are not locked in."

Last night, I attended a Christmas party. We were required to bring white elephant gifts that were funny but also useful, so it wasn't just a bunch of junk. I bought a Toy Story 3 card game that came with 2 pairs of 3D glasses! (Congratulations, Taylor). It was quite a riot, exchanging the gifts. We all got a bit confused whenever we heard the word "skip" but in the end, we all had a present. I received a Robert Pattinson Calendar. (Thank you, Kenzie). If you don't know who he is, more power to you. Google him. Anyway, the calendar ended up in my car, and I spent the rest of the night jumping on couches and beds and playing truth or dare. In the morning I had to scrape the ice off of my car. I live in a very cold place, and ice is pretty normal. As I was scraping off the passenger window, I saw a face looking back at me. It was good ole' Robert - pale skin, red lips, messy hair and all. I jumped.

Today, I had to wear a headband because basically I was having a bad hair day. One of those big headbands with a flower. When I was at my other job - working at the desk - an old man came in.This is pretty normal, don't worry, old men come in all the time. The first thing he said to me was, "You look like you're wearing a Christmas Bonnet!" I politely laughed, and waited for him to tell me what he needed. I know what you're thinking I'm going to say - That I'll never wear this headband again? Wrong. Who doesn't like a festive Christmas Bonnet?

p.s. I was so excited to drive home today, that when I had my car all packed up and pulled out of my parking spot, I screamed "CHRISTMAS!!!!!!"

three, two, one, ACTION

I was watching Little Women with my sisters one day, many years ago. At the end, there's this pivotal moment when Jo reveals to the German Professor that she is not married, and she actually really likes him. They kiss in the rain under an umbrella, and live happily ever after. My little sister starts singing, "What is love, but a kiss on a rainy day? A smile that won't go away? A safe place to run..."

I was unsurprised that she started singing. We sing a lot. I said, "Abi! That's a good song! Did you just make that up?"

She tilted her head, "No, it's on one of my CD's."

My mom is sitting at the kitchen table, scrapbooking supplies spread all around. I walk over, and sit down on the chair, tucking my knees under my chin. We laugh at pictures from last year, and reminisce about how much things have changed. My little brother shuffles past us decked out in all of his snow gear, eyes peeking through a face mask. He slams the door behind him, and dives into the snow face first. My mom holds up a picture from last Thanksgiving at the cabin. There's a one person difference this year. "He was pretty fun, you know."

"Yeah, I miss him!" Olivia volunteers from the chair next to me.

I agree that he was fun, entertaining, very cute. Then I press my lips together and look outside.

My mom asks where my brother is.

I tell her I can't see him at the moment.

"Well go look! There could be an avalanche!"

"Mom, we're not on a mountain, where would the avalanche come from?"

"They can come out of nowhere!!"

My brother ran up the steps and smashed his face into the window dramatically.

I'm laying on the carpet staring at the ceiling. Thinking. There's a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, something I've felt before, but I can't quite put my finger on it. He comes back up the stairs and considers me a moment, "What are you doing?"

"I'm laying on the floor."

He sets down the spatula and lays down next to me. Brushes my hair with his finger. I turn and look him in the eyes. "What's up?"

He says, "I think I have a hard time connecting with people. I'm not good at letting others in."

I nod. I have that problem too.

"How do you fix that? Do you know?"

"My dad told me that I put a wall up. When people start getting close to me, I put up the wall. No access. So I decided that I would start working on trusting people more. I think it comes down to trust. Not being afraid to be vulnerable."

"Yeah, but how do you start doing that? Trusting people?"

I start to answer, but there's a knock on the door.

It's the internet guy.

If love in movies is just made up, then where did all the ideas for the movies come from?

p.s. i wonder what it's like to get in a fight.