he knows me better

just a funny picture.. i feel like i should have bought these glasses. yeah? do you agree?

I've been thinking a lot lately.

(surprise suprise...?)

About how things always seem to happen when they are supposed to.

For a reason.

Kind of related to my last post, I suppose.

It's just so fantastically interesting to me that I am here, right now, doing whatever I'm doing.

And because of the choices I make today, 

different things will happen in the future.

I get really excited for the future.

Not sure if that's normal... I've always been a person to embrace change.

But most of all,

I love looking back on the past year, and seeing how my little choices made my life the way it is right now.

Deciding to go on a trip to Nauvoo, Illinois seems to have started it all.

Gave me amazing friends, who I couldn't live without.

Who brought other new friends into my life.

All of whom kept me entertained all school year.

And when I decided to be brave.

And when I wasn't afraid to say no to people. (boys...)

And when I learned that sometimes first impressions are wrong.

And the moments that I had small thoughts, which led me in a different direction when acted upon.

Listen to your heart, people.

I'm telling you, good things happen when you trust yourself.

And life can be the most interesting adventure of all.

Don't be afraid to take a chance.

That's all for now, folks.

Love you all.

p.s. and to jenna colvin, i love you most.

too aware of the pending

Yes, I'm giving you an excerpt from one of my letters to Jenna again. Sorry... creative juices are just not flowing lately.

Dearest Jenna Colvin Loveliest Lady In The Land,

In the beginning I thought I would end up writing you my blog posts (which sometimes I do). But now I am tempted to copy and paste your letters into my blog (which I have done once).

I think perhaps I was always writing my blog just for you. I stare at my blog in a haze of confusion, not knowing what to write. And then I open this document, and the words come pouring out. I hope you are saving my letters to you, because I have a feeling I will like to read them in 17 months…

17 months. What will happen to me in 17 months? I know all the things that I would like to happen. But my mind creates a wall and pushes those dreams behind it. Focusing on right now is easier, better than dwelling on wishes of things to come. And I can’t decide if that’s wrong. Should I put energy into wishing? Or should I be happy where I am, and live the journey? The happy medium is probably goal setting, right? I can be happy and live my life right now, all the while working toward goals. Where I want to be in 17 months. Such a long list of goals…

And yet, fear of disappointment builds the wall again.

p.s. i had a free personal trainer consultation at my gym today. she told me i should train to run a marathon. i felt so weak.

then again... i don't remember you.

Top 10 Things On My Mind Right Now

1. My mom. She's really cool. She should be on everyone's mind.

2. My overflowing bag of clothes on my floor. They need to be put away... by someone else preferably.

3. Sister's prom night. She wore my old dress and everything. Lucky.

4. Superheroes. Why aren't they real?

5. Planning a bridal shower for one of my oldest friends. And I love it.

6. What to wear tomorrow? So many options. Really though, I have a lot of clothes. See #2.

7. I think my cat Penelope should have her babies today. It seems appropriate.

8. Gym membership for the summer. Is it weird that I'm excited for this? No.

9. Ke$ha. Is she for real?

10. Jenna Colvin's letter to me. We used to communicate through blogs. Now we communicate on paper. That's cute.

huge overwhelming bag of clothes.

p.s. my mom rocks. she's a rockstar. but she rarely reads my blog, and i'm sure you people don't care that much about how much i love my mom, so i'll just tell her in person. happy mother's day!

looks my way, or calls my name

Remember my delightful friend, Jenna Colvin? Yeah, she went on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And I miss her. So I write her letters every week. And sometimes I feel like they are more interesting than my blog, so here is an excerpt of what I have felt the need to tell her lately.

Dearest Sister Jenna Colvin fairest missionary in the land,

I just bought some lipstick. Online. From Target. Why? Oh, no reason except that I have become obsessed with this one girls blog and she wears it and she looks awesome.

Ok, seriously? Who am I?

Regardless, I’m really excited about it.

I read some of your blog today, but then it made me miss you a little bit more than usual, so I stopped. It was sunny and gorgeous outside, so I went to the library. I didn’t really go to the library to do anything… I just wanted an excuse to walk outside. Although, once I got to the library I remembered that I really needed to print some pages for my portfolio and complete an online final.

Oh, the things you remember when you decide to venture up to campus. This is real life? I have responsibilities? What?

I am moving home on Thursday! I really am excited. For a while last week I wasn’t excited. This was because (blah blah blah... sorry guys, you don't get the privilege of knowing why I was content to stay in Logan.) Now that that has ended, I feel like diving right back into life and embracing the summer.

But I can’t help thinking back to last summer…

Last year, at this time, I was finishing finals and getting excited to go to Nauvoo. When the day finally came, and I drove up to the church with my family and met up with Rachel, Haley, and Carli, I had no idea that my life was about to change forever. Honestly, if I hadn’t gone on that trip, I wouldn’t have become such good friends with you guys. I wouldn’t be rooming with Haley next year, feeling sad about Rachel leaving, or writing this letter to you right now. 

Do you get what I’m saying, Jenna Colvin? It’s those tiny moments. Those little choices. That pause in time where you get a text from a friend that says, “Do you want to go on the single’s ward trip to Nauvoo?” and you say yes.

Just three seconds of your life can change the rest of it.

And there is something about that, that I just LOVE.

p.s. thought i saw a cute boy at the library today... and then i saw him picking his nose, and i'm like... nope!

Roast Beef and Curly Fries

Jenna Colvin.

Hey, the computer underlined BOTH of those names in red. Excuse me, computer, but Jenna's name really is spelled like that. J-e-n-n-a-C-o-l-v-i-n. I'm getting kind of tired of you telling me I can't spell.

Fine, don't change it. We all know I'm right.

Jenna is the kind of girl you take for long walks in the park. You can also feed her cheesecake. She's funny in a clever way. She wants to be a writer, and she loves her boyfriend. If you wink at her, she'll probably wink back. Her dentist describes her teeth as, "perfect and boring." She protects children when they cross the street. She never once complains about writing long papers. She's the kind of citizen you would definitely want in your community.

Jenna Colvin.

(It really is spelled that way!)

p.s. Thanksgiving Break is so soon! So excited! So happy! So BBQ ribs instead of turkey? What?