i'm signing autographs later

I could do awkward and awesome today. No problem. But all I really want to show you is awesome. Because yes, folks. That is me at 1:18 in that video. Being tossed in the air over and over again because what? USU was winning? That's right. I'm the one waving my arm in the air. I was waving at my dad across the stadium. Anyway, enjoy. This is my 15 minutes of fame. (and hello... Aggies Run Over Weber State? Doesn't that make you beam with joy? I'll answer that for you. Yes.)

p.s. It is a BEAUTIFUL fall day.

a monday pinterest post

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a FANTASTIC weekend, because I know I sure did! Remember that time I told you that USU would kill Weber state? If not, look at the post below this. I surely said it. AND I was surely right! My love for Utah State - despite the bad reputation of our football team -  is going to be vindicated, I can just feel it. Look out everyone, here we come!

friends at the game. too cool for school... actually, not true. we love school.

Oh, all right, enough about football... you want to know what fantastic food we rangers of the Pinterest Group made this last Saturday? Well, prepare to be amazed. 

You may recall this post. Where I admitted that yes, I do happen to be obsessed with panini's. Well... you got it! I convinced the rangers that this was something they should also be obsessed with. All right... it didn't take much convincing. The panini's speak for themselves. Want to take a look?

picture via

This isn't the picture of what we made, it was just a picture of a panini that I found. We kind of made our own panini recipe this time... but here's what they look like! 

Sorry about the picture... we made them after the game, so it was dark, and the lighting wasn't the best... but they turned out absolutely delicious!

What you need:

Sourdough bread

Pesto

Turkey

Avocado

Pepperjack cheese

Optional tomatoes on the side (not optional for me! I <3 tomatoes.)

p.s. maybe yesterday i got talked into getting twitter? i did not see that one coming. follow me! @shor_t_rose. (that's what you do, right? the @ symbol? Ha. I'll get there.) yeah, that's my gangsta name, jealous?

it's 10:30, and i'm done with school for the day...

Frankly, the universe is against my little blogging fingers lately. And so, in a last attempt to thwart the universe, I am awkwardly blogging in the very public library on campus at Utah State University. Hello, you library people! Why are you here? It's the first day of school! You can still get some relaxation! Oh, you don't have internet at your house yet? Just like me? Fancy that.

The most devastating part about the no internet situation is that I cannot post pictures of my absolutely lovely and darling house. Haley and I have fallen in love. In love with the archways over the doors, and even the one in our shower. An unexpected detail in a pink tiled bathroom. In love with the dining room and kitchen, with so much space, we hardly know where to start. And with our adorable living room, a blank canvas with four couches, quite a few tables with doily adornments, two televisions, and a large fireplace. In love with the long staircase, the bottom of the railing held together by wires. The wood floors upstairs, and slanted ceilings in the bedrooms. Even quite in love with the idea that, coming into this, we had no idea who our other roommates would be, but it turns out that about half went to our high school.

What an adventure. I believe this house will be perfect.

p.s. pictures will come as soon as this internet is figured out, promise.

dark to light?

There are a few things on my mind today. The first is that I would really like my hair to grow faster. Because honestly, I can't stop thinking about trying out the ombre look. Quite a bit like the lovely Sydney from The Daybook. Oh, I'm sorry... did I say quite a bit? I think I meant exactly.

picture via pinterest

Maybe I'm not afraid to admit that I want to be just like her? So what, who cares? Also.. side note.. I totally have those boots, and they rock. 

Anyway, back to my hair growing... yes? no? Good look for me? Go ahead, tell the truth. I might even put on some lipstick.

The second thing on my mind is that I'm going back to Logan on Saturday. Back to school in the lovely northern Utah. Remember how I've been telling you all how excited I was to get back up there? Well... the truth is, I'm not feeling as excited anymore. The thought of schoolwork is overwhelming me, but more importantly, the thought of trekking up the hill every day. But when these thoughts hit... I chase them away with the fact that I'll be living with my BFF in the cutest house you ever did see, up and down the street from tons of my closest friends. So, what's the big deal? This year is going to be AWESOME. 

See? Look at all those goals... and this is just the beginning...

p.s. all-across bangs? Or not?
p.p.s. I'm a little worried, because I changed my URL without telling anyone yesterday, and now I feel as though all of you are lost, wondering where my blog went! (This is not because I assume you all will die without my blog, it's just because I got a few texts this morning asking where my blog was.) So anyway, tell your friends and family and pets! I'm over here. Still writing happily. And if you have a link to my blog on yours, please change the URL to www.psmynameismadeline.blogspot.com. Thanks a bunch, my dears.

a penny for my thoughts, no i'll sell them for a dollar

One of those days where you really don't want to get up and do what you have to do. I roll out of bed, gazing at my piles of clothes, books, shoes, and school supplies... all packed and ready to go. When I stand up, I feel a little lightheaded, just a product of this sickness that hit me a couple days ago. But I get dressed and ready for the day anyway. I finish packing up the last things in my bedroom, and start the trek in and out, putting things neatly into my car. Walking out into the sunshine with a pile of pillows in my arms, I can't help but think of the plans I originally had for this beautiful Thursday. I have an inkling to go back inside, because I forgot to get my keys, but then I feel prompted to stay. And coming down the stairs across the parking lot, I see someone I've been wanting to talk to. How perfect, I think, that I decided to stay outside for one more moment. So he stops, and we talk, and I can't help feeling better, but at the same time apprehensive. Because of course, we have to say good-bye. When we finally do, I stand there, balancing the pillows on my hip, watching him walk away. And then I smile, traipse back inside, and send a text message to take care of one last thing.

p.s. i still haven't finished unpacking.

the love and the laughter will live on long after

I look around at the walls, reading the words written there. I can't help but smile a little, and suddenly it strikes me that I have to preserve this. Preserve this moment and these memories. A record of my personal growth. And though my roommates laugh as I take picture after picture of every detail of the wall, I know they'll thank me later. The truth is, we couldn't have done this without each other. And every word we wrote down chronicles what we went through. I look around at my best friends, and set my camera on the arm rest of our little green arm chair. We each position ourselves in front of the wall, and on the count of three, we tear it down. A record of our journey falls to the ground in a heap of colorful construction paper, and the blank wall underneath becomes a metaphor of things to come.

A year later, I drag myself downstairs yet again to tear down a wall. This wall is bigger, full of many more thoughts and quotes. But it means a lot less to me for some reason. I feel detached as I take in the sight in front of me. White and blue, a symbol of what we have gone through again, and yet, I wasn't a part of it. Spending the whole year wishing I was in a different place, living a different life, I forgot to pay attention to what I had in front of me. And now it was all coming down in a heap of construction paper, reminding me of a happier time, and the new blank walls giving me hope of what is to come.

This year there is no paper to take down. The walls have been blank all year. And yet, as I pack my clothes into my suitcase and prepare to move home, I can't help but feel a sense of sadness. Each shirt I fold has a memory attached to the fabric. So many times I smiled, or laughed, or cried. It's all here in this room, snuggled into my bed, hung up in my closet, written in my journal, marked in my scriptures, thrown in my garbage can, placed on my dresser... all the things I will remember from this year. And it's a melancholy feeling, a bittersweet thing to clean up and look at my blank walls, and know that I have even more walls to decorate coming my way.

p.s. last night it was very hard to sleep because I was sick, and I kept coming in and out of dreams about all the bloggers that I admire... I guess I'm more obsessed than I thought.

little girl, you're in the middle of the ride

So, it's the first time I've had any time for myself in about a month, and I think I've gone a little bit crazy. Sitting here alone at my kitchen table, at 1:00 in the afternoon, hair still wet from the shower, having just eaten a breakfast? lunch? (brunch?) of waffles, my thoughts are a mess of tangled randomness. I find myself making faces when I remember awkward events of the past, laughing out loud when I read something funny on my laptop, and doing little dances when I hear music... either real or imagined. 

I also have a tendency to relate everything back to the amazing house Haley and I found yesterday to live in. I cannot. stop. thinking. about it. For those few of you who have been privileged to go house/apartment hunting with me, you know I get a little insane. I can't help it. I'm in love with houses. Back in the day, I was all about Interior Design. Somewhere along the line I changed my major to Elementary Education, which I feel very good about, believe me... but the only time I ever question that decision is when I walk into a house. I get this overwhelming feeling of excitement. I am a very excitable person to begin with... stick me in a house, and it all comes out. I wish I could show you pictures of the house we have chosen. I even looked it up on the internet to see if there were pictures - and there weren't - and then I had the thought that maybe I should go take pictures... but people still live there, so that might be creepy. How did this house come to be, you might ask. Well, I'll tell you. And if you aren't asking... stop reading.

Two nights ago, I was tossing and turning in my bed wondering why oh why I had such a feeling of anxiety/stress/excitement welling up inside of me. I couldn't stop thinking about where I was going to live next year. I had to find somewhere fast, or all the good places would be gone!! In a delusional state I pulled my laptop up from it's spot next to me, opened it, and immediately went to google. I found an amazing website, www.trueaggie.com, that had a whole plethora of apartment listings! Fueled with the victory of such a find, I zoomed through the list, typing in apartments and houses that looked appealing to me into my phone. Finally, with relief seeping through me, I placed my computer back where it belonged, and fell into a deep satisfied slumber. In the morning, I pulled out my phone, ignored my text messages, and went straight to the list. I had only written down THREE names. Three. And when I looked back at the website, one of my options wouldn't even work. Apparently I wasn't as successful as I had imagined. However, there was this house that I had written down. Every time I read about it, or looked at the tiny picture, I had this feeling that I just had to live there. I immediately called the number. A cheerful lady named Christine answered and asked how she could help me. In halted words (apparently my excitement caused me to lose normal language skills) I explained that I was interested in the brick house, and were there two spots available for my friend and me? She told me that there were exactly two spots, but there was another girl who had tried to send in her application but it hadn't gotten there, so if we didn't act quickly, the two spots could be gone. Of course I went into panic mode and texted Haley as quickly as possible. It turned out both of us could drop by the house when Christine told us would be the best time, so we did. 

And we fell in love.

Fell in love with the huge living room, the huge dining room, the gigantic kitchen, the staircase, the rooms upstairs with the wooden floors and slanted ceilings... everything. I tried not to act too psychotic with excitement, (me + love of houses + need to have THIS one + coincidence that we COULD have this one = weirdo) because the girl who was showing us around would be our roommate next year, and I didn't want her thinking we weren't cool.

We drove straight to the office, filled out our applications in my car, and handed them to Christine in the flesh. She was a lovely woman. 

And she told us that unless our background checks failed (Haley... you better not have a criminal past...) we would be in by the end of this week.

Sing choirs of angels.

p.s. i am terrible at country dancing.

when lost will you find me?

There is something about Spring Semester of school that makes me want to pack my bags and get out. I always picture myself in Ireland, on the path where girl meets boy in P.S. I love you. Just standing there, me and my suitcase and the wind. Watching the grass and the flowers, and feeling content in my warm colorful scarf. And then I come back to real life, sitting on my bed, listening to water dripping off the roof, ready to begin my homework. 

Sometimes life gets crazy. I wish I could be anywhere but where I am, doing anything but what I am doing. And then I find myself walking up to campus in the chilly morning air. I pass all of the cars in the parking lot, praying to not get run over by the crazy man in the corvette, and climb up the stairs to the street. I tilt my head and listen for sounds of cars coming, and when silence greets me, I run across. Then I make my way to the big red brick building and open the door. A man smiles at me and moves quickly up the stairs. I hear the music, and I can't help smiling as I walk up behind him. 

And the thought occurs to me that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. 

And I feel peace.

p.s. maybe i was wrong...

dreams of july

So I won't bore you with the cliche details of how cold it is here in Logan, and how when I was walking home yesterday in the bitter wind I felt like giving up and laying in a huddled mass underneath a tree - because of course that would be better than sticking it out and getting home in the next two minutes. I also won't bore you with the fact that I now consider sleep a higher priority than anything else. I won't bother to tell you about how much I miss wearing normal clothes everyday - business casual stands for boring clothes. I won't worry you with how much I run out of time and forget to pack a lunch. I won't bother you with the fact that a very nice person surprised me with fruit snacks and granola bars because he knew this about me. I don't really feel like explaining to you how cute and sweet my first graders are. Don't ask me. I don't feel like telling you.

I don't.

srsly. (for carli)

p.s. who's the girl in the pink capri's? It's Courtney! It's Courtneyyyyy!

spoonerisms

I should be asleep. I need to go to bed.
I can't.
Want to know why?
Because I haven't put my pajamas on, washed my face, brushed my teeth, or taken out my contacts.
And also because tomorrow I get to see four people that I love all together again for the first time in two years.
We have so many memories together.
It's late. I'm tired. I love them. So excited. 
It's almost like Christmas is tomorrow.
I'm not going to tell stories, because my posts have gotten longer and it's bothering me.

Here are some pictures.

p.s. It's fun to text weird things to people.

Starved for Conversation.

Hey! It's you!

You might not have heard, it's kind of on the down low, but there was a blizzard in Logan today.

You hadn't heard? Oh my, it was quite exciting!

Yes, I was just at work taking people's orders, when suddenly the door blew open and I noticed it was quite the storm outside!

Well, none of us could do anything about it. We just kept making sandwiches as usual.

Sure, a few people came in! They were all bundled up in their large jackets. It was comical to watch them stumble up to the door (they were being pushed by the wind) and then come in and quickly remove their hood, as if to tell us it really wasn't as bad out there as it looked.

Well, I got off around four.

I know, I was really nervous to leave, even though I've driven in snow before.

Everything went pretty well actually! I only slid a few times... it was when I hit the street my house is on that things went downhill. Actually things stopped altogether, because I kind of got stuck.

It was crazy! I could see my house about 200 yards away, but I think my car gave up all hope. I don't think it realized we were so close. It's tires got tired of pushing the snow.

Well, yes! I called my roommate, and she was much too busy to help me. So then I called my dad! He was actually on the way to Logan to rescue me, but he had to turn around because the snow was so bad.

Well, I finally was about to call AAA but then I noticed two figures making their way toward me.

No, I didn't know who they were.

Yes, they came right up to me! They told me they would help me. After quite a bit of pushing, some salt, and some digging, we finally got my car to have the courage to go on! Don't worry, I thanked them. Probably thanked them too much... Then I ran into my house and collapsed on the couch.

No, I haven't done anything else all day. I just made some cookies and watched The Holiday, which is one of my favorites.

Oh, it's your favorite too? We should watch it together sometime!

I know, it has the best music. And Jude Law is just sooooo cute, right?

It's quiet here. Everyone has gone home.

Yeah, all right, yeah! I should probably go too. I've got uh... got a lot of stuff to do.

You have a good night too!

Talk to you later.

p.s. I feel like going to a party that I have to get dressed up for.

Nice To Meet You... I'm Awkward.

Freshman Year. Utah State University. Living in Snow Hall.

My beautiful, silly roommate Kalli Jones suggested we run around all the floors and meet new people. Probably she just wanted to meet boys... but I didn't really have a problem with that at all. We made our way through the dorm, meeting a few people here and there, and mostly acting like weirdo's. I think Kalli asked some girls we just met if she could take pictures in their room. Finally we made it to the fifth floor. We ended up in front of a door that was partially open, knocked a couple times and waited patiently, but no one came.

So we opened the door.

It was obviously a boys room, because the bedroom doors had their names on them. We found a piece of paper and wrote a note to them. "Hey! We came by to meet you, but you guys weren't here. Come by and say hey!" And then we signed it... Lyndsay Simmons and Stacia Ellis. Kalli and I ran back to our room giggling about our prank, and a few days later, it was forgotten. That is, until we heard a knock on our door.

Stacia answered it, and two boys were standing there. They asked her if Lyndsay and Stacia were at the apartment, and it just so happened that Lyndsay was not. However, Stacia was left to deal with them. Kalli and I promptly burst into hysterical laughter that could only be contained by running to the bathroom and locking ourselves inside. We could hear Stacia's awkward conversation in the kitchen. "Hi, I'm Stacia... I'm anti-social. And mute."

Finally, Kalli and I came out to assess the damage. The boys obviously had no idea what was happening to them, so we gave them some homemade twix and sent them on their way.

Sometimes I wish I was still a Freshman.

p.s Happy Birthday week Stacia Ellis :)

On My Mind

To Do List - Week 4 of School

1. Write talk for tonight

2. Pass remaining CIL's

3. Sneak into Speech and Hearing exam

4. Ace Physics test

5. Find Job

6. Watch Glee

7. Meet with Advisor

8. Apply to Eled Program

9. Do observations for Eled P.E.

10. Practice whistle blowing and recorder playing

p.s. remember that time I got a boot on my car for no reason? Thanks City of Logan. I will never park ONE SPOT away from my assigned parking ever again, even on accident.

Free Fallin'

It's interesting, knowing that a whole new segment of my life is beginning. Going to new classes, talking to new people, walking around campus, going to activities, getting phone calls from people back home, getting asked on dates, laying on my couch reading and looking out the window, and thinking... this will be my life for the next year. This isn't a one week at a time thing like the rest of my summer. My life is a little more permanent now. A little more binding. The thing about new experiences is, how they turn out depends entirely on yourself. I can choose to find freedom in my life in Logan, or I can choose to feel trapped. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to be homesick. I can choose to make friends, watch movies, go to dances, sing songs, eat tacos, look pretty, and smile like nothing will ever get me down.

And as I look out my window and see a few leaves changing colors... I know I have made my choice.

p.s. I support Utah State Football, win or lose they are MY team.

Failure is not an option...

Getting to Logan: Scene 1

I drive to Logan on Monday, hurry and shove my frozen food in my new freezer. Fly out the door and run up to campus. Hike up the billion stairs to get to the top floor of the Geology building. Run into a 30 minute long line to get into the computer lab for the math placement test. Glance at the clock... 3:25. Class starts in 35 minutes. Shuffle from foot to foot, wondering if taking this test really is mandatory before class... Make friends with the girl in front of me, she's taking the class too. Try to eavesdrop on the whispering girl 10 people ahead of me. Finally make it inside the lab. 3:50p.m. Begin the test. X is equal to what now? Log of huh? Graph that? yeahh... a, c, d, b, a, c, d, b. Check the clock 4:05. Finish test. FAIL. 20%. Run to class.

Good thing I signed up for a refresher course huh?
Don't sit around waiting for me to fail this time.
Success is the only word I know.

p.s. Saudi Arabian's gaming all day, taking my internet connection? Comcast, here I come.

W

E

E

K

E

N

D

S

...are the best part of the week.

......and then Sunday night happens.

.........and I remember everything I have to do.

Two tests and two papers? Bring it on. Once I'm done, I'll just have another

w e e k e n d.

And that describes my life this year at college. I Live for the END of the week and try to enjoy the in between days. :)

(darn long distance relationships and a great family...haha)

XOXO

A Life in Logan

(Year 2: Torie, Kamille and I at a basketball game)

(Year 2: Me, Kelsey, Mollie, and Kamille out for ice cream)

(Year 1: Stacia, Amy, Kalli and I showing off our new socks)

(Year 1: Jessica, Ashley, Stacia, Me, Lyndsay, and Amy preparing thanksgiving dinner)

This is my second year in Logan Utah.

At Utah State University.

Last year, I was waiting to see if I got into the Interior Design program.

I made it.

This year, I am completing all that I need to get into the Eled program.

Hopefully I make it!

The weather is basically the same.

Teasing us with sunshine, then throwing snow in our faces.

I have more homework this year.

I have more tests.

I have more fun.

I have more friends.

I sleep a lot.

I have no food.

I've got a boyfriend, and he's pretty cute.

Logan has been good to me.

I love it.